About Five Months In

I hope I'm not jinxing it--but I think it's safe to say I officially feel at home here and I'm still just as in love with Ireland as ever. 

One of my biggest fears (that I tried not to voice because I didn't want to admit it) was that this fairytale land in my head wouldn't be so great once I was actually living and seeing all that was behind the façade put up when you're a tourist. Honestly, I did have my moments about two or three months in where I began to doubt my decision to come here, mostly when my chronic pain was horrible or when cultural differences I hadn't expected would knock me back full force. There is always a lot you couldn't possibly anticipate when moving to a new country, and I'm thankful for my experiences moving numerous times during my childhood and for my time of living in Ghana, as all those bits of my past have helped immeasurably when it comes to reminding myself that it's okay to struggle with change and that it always does get better in some way eventually. I think there was another part of me that also believed I would fit in Ireland more than I did in the US. I never felt like I identified with being an "American" and always craved living in Europe. I had decided long ago that it was were I was meant to be and it would happen somehow. When it did, I suppose I took it as a sign that I would finally feel I belong somewhere.

Therefore, when I didn't and I was still looked at as 'different' and 'the American' or 'the tourist' due to my accent and certain American colloquial phrases I just can't seem to rid myself of, I became disappointed and down about feeling as if I would never fit anywhere. Then my lovely friend Sam came to visit me in Ireland (which was so much fun).

Sam has lived many places, including Bali for the last year or more. She explained how she never felt like she fit, either, and how she just had to come to terms with it eventually. Somehow, after talking to her, I began accepting my 'Americanness' a little bit more. And I must tell you, being an American anywhere in Europe is a bit of a challenge these days because of the political situation currently present. I have definitely changed my accent at times to avoid the same questions and comments over and over 😂. So for now, I'm an American that sees myself staying in Ireland for a very long time to come (Forever, if I have any say in it!). I may never be seen as Irish, and despite pronouncing words oddly now from being surrounded by Irish accents, I will never have a full Irish accent 😜.

Life has been treating me fairly well all things considered. I've finished my first term of my masters, landed a placement in a great hospital in Northern Dublin City, and have had the chance to explore a bit of Italy for the first time just the beginning of this month. I've been more laid back here than anywhere else and have found It's much easier to take things as they come. While there were many things I absolutely loved about Chicago, it's truly only the people that I miss. I was just telling a friend the other day that if I could just take all the people I love and plop them into Ireland my life would be absolutely complete. However, It's nice knowing I have people I can go visit whenever I go back to the States for holidays. And I'm forever trying to convince people to come visit me--being in a beautiful country helps me with that just a bit.

Winter in Chicago

Winter in Dublin

So far weather has been amazing, at least to me. A lot of people continually warned me about Irish winters (perhaps the worst is still yet to come?), but so far Chicago winters have Ireland far beat. I'd much rather a damp cloudy day over frozen eyeballs and skin-piercing, cold wind. I've so enjoyed being able to go to my favourite little seaside village just a 10 minute train ride away on days off when it's nice. I hike up to the tallest point and I am able to look out over the city, countryside with horses scattered about, and the Irish sea all in one. It's especially great now that tourist season has come to an end. Just the other day I was the only one up there and it was so peaceful.


As Christmas approaches I'm so looking forward to spending the holidays in Ireland (Northern Ireland, specifically) and getting to experience all the craic. This is another one of those times I wish I could just plop my family in the states over here in Ireland so that they could be here too. While Technology can be a bother, this is where it comes in extremely handy. It's great feeling not so far away with how easily I can pick up the phone and call anyone regardless of where we are.

Lately, I've been thinking about how I would have been home from Ghana this time about three years ago. It's crazy thinking about how I've been in Ireland as long as I was in Ghana, yet I feel so at home and settled here. Ghana was an amazing experience, but I couldn't see myself there and boy did that heat kill me 😅. Here, I'm home. I knew it when I left last summer and cried not knowing when I'd be back, and I knew it even more so when I eagerly boarded the plane to Dublin from Rome two weeks ago. I get homesick for Ireland like I've never been homesick for a place before. I'm hoping that feeling stays forever. ☘💚

(p.s. If there's anything specific you'd like me to write about let me know!)